My amazing boyfriend threw an awesome farewell party, and now it's only a little over a week before I leave. I'm starting to panic and get emotional about it. I'm really excited to go to Japan and have a job for the first time in half a year... but at the same time I'm dreading it. I've gotten even closer to Saker since I started living with him. I love living with him, and I love making him lunches and doing things for him at home that he can't do while he's at work. He takes good care of me, and we have a ridiculous amount of fun just being with each other.
I'm planning on helping him buy a plane ticket to visit me in the summer, but it's going to be incredibly painful not having any physical contact with him for the next 5 months. We're going to be on a completely different schedule, since Japan is 13/14 hours ahead of EST. I've already figured out a good times for me to wake up (once I'm in Japan) and chat with him on Skype. Luckily, I start work in the afternoon and finish around 9 PM... which means I have the mornings to get stuff done and have plenty of time to talk with him. My new computer has a webcam, so that's nice too. Even so, I'm really going to miss him.
I'm going to miss our random/crazy conversations we have when we're just bumming around or driving somewhere. I'm going to miss him popping my toes and giving me back massages. I'll miss how he takes care of me when I'm sick or feeling crappy. I'll miss having "Saker meals". I'll miss how he cuddles up to me when I crawl into bed at 3 AM. I'll even miss his nasty habits of chewing on every single pen in the house and peeing on my feet when we're taking a shower.
I wish I could afford to not take this job... but I have over $20,000 in debt that I need to pay off, not to mention the fact that I'm not currently paying for my fair share of the rent and utilities. If, financially, I could handle not going to Japan, I wouldn't. This whole ordeal has made me realize that I really can't live without that man in my life.
I'm hoping this experience will strengthen our relationship and help us figure out what we want in life, how we're going to get it, and what sort of compromises we're willing to make. When we get through this, I'm not going to be leaving his side again.
On a happier note, I'm super excited to be able to buy him awesome/ridiculous things in Japan. Hell, I'm excited to actually be able to buy him things at all! The idea of paying for everything for him when he comes to visit is AMAZING. The man has been paying for almost everything we do together for nearly 3 years now, and I finally get to return the favor. I really need to make a list of his favorite things that I'll be able to find when I'm there...
Edit: Did I mention I'm going to be an absolute basket-case at the airport? It won't be terribly difficult saying goodbye to my family, but once I hug and kiss Saker goodbye, I have a feeling that I'm just going to be crying my way through security. Would it be horrible to wear sunglasses in the airport and carry a box of tissues with me? I mean, I know it's not going to be THAT terribly long before I see him again, but it seems like forever even when I'm only away from him for 3 weeks. I wish there was some way I could make the transition easier. :[
I'm going to be working/living in Japan for a year. I leave on the 15th of March.