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Apr. 13th, 2010



Romance can't exist without a failure in communication.

Mar. 2nd, 2010



I'm going to be working/living in Japan for a year. I leave on the 15th of March.
My amazing boyfriend threw an awesome farewell party, and now it's only a little over a week before I leave. I'm starting to panic and get emotional about it. I'm really excited to go to Japan and have a job for the first time in half a year... but at the same time I'm dreading it. I've gotten even closer to Saker since I started living with him. I love living with him, and I love making him lunches and doing things for him at home that he can't do while he's at work. He takes good care of me, and we have a ridiculous amount of fun just being with each other.
I'm planning on helping him buy a plane ticket to visit me in the summer, but it's going to be incredibly painful not having any physical contact with him for the next 5 months. We're going to be on a completely different schedule, since Japan is 13/14 hours ahead of EST. I've already figured out a good times for me to wake up (once I'm in Japan) and chat with him on Skype. Luckily, I start work in the afternoon and finish around 9 PM... which means I have the mornings to get stuff done and have plenty of time to talk with him. My new computer has a webcam, so that's nice too. Even so, I'm really going to miss him.

I'm going to miss our random/crazy conversations we have when we're just bumming around or driving somewhere. I'm going to miss him popping my toes and giving me back massages. I'll miss how he takes care of me when I'm sick or feeling crappy. I'll miss having "Saker meals". I'll miss how he cuddles up to me when I crawl into bed at 3 AM. I'll even miss his nasty habits of chewing on every single pen in the house and peeing on my feet when we're taking a shower.

I wish I could afford to not take this job... but I have over $20,000 in debt that I need to pay off, not to mention the fact that I'm not currently paying for my fair share of the rent and utilities. If, financially, I could handle not going to Japan, I wouldn't. This whole ordeal has made me realize that I really can't live without that man in my life.

I'm hoping this experience will strengthen our relationship and help us figure out what we want in life, how we're going to get it, and what sort of compromises we're willing to make. When we get through this, I'm not going to be leaving his side again.

On a happier note, I'm super excited to be able to buy him awesome/ridiculous things in Japan. Hell, I'm excited to actually be able to buy him things at all! The idea of paying for everything for him when he comes to visit is AMAZING. The man has been paying for almost everything we do together for nearly 3 years now, and I finally get to return the favor. I really need to make a list of his favorite things that I'll be able to find when I'm there...

Edit: Did I mention I'm going to be an absolute basket-case at the airport? It won't be terribly difficult saying goodbye to my family, but once I hug and kiss Saker goodbye, I have a feeling that I'm just going to be crying my way through security. Would it be horrible to wear sunglasses in the airport and carry a box of tissues with me? I mean, I know it's not going to be THAT terribly long before I see him again, but it seems like forever even when I'm only away from him for 3 weeks. I wish there was some way I could make the transition easier. :[

Dec. 16th, 2009

girl in bunnysuit smoking by nuclear coo

Uninspired, unexciting

I haven't eaten yet today.
I still don't have a job.
I am seriously considering drinking a good portion of the leftover alcohol from the party that we have in our refrigerator.
During/after drinking, I may watch more Firefly or play some Dragon Age.
Maybe I will finish the sketch I said I was going to email to my Uncle yesterday. hmm. Maybe if I leave photoshop open, I will magically get the urge to create.
I want to make the bedroom more comfy somehow. The mattress is a piece of crap and we have 2 comforters that don't fit the bed which we are either a. fighting over or b. using 1 each. I love living with Saker, but I don't really feel at home in this apartment. Maybe because I'm not paying for it? Maybe because it's filled with mostly Saker's furniture and Saker's posters are covering every inch of wall space. I have a few posters up, but they just get lost in the crowd.
We're playing D&D now with a bunch of old people. It's nice to get out of the house and hang out with other people, but it feels weird and forced. I want to get a job and if it's far away find a cute/cheap apartment that's not in a basement. Ideal locations: basically anywhere by the ocean, preferably New England region and, in my dreams, BOSTON.
Lots of wants and not really much drive to get anything that I want. It feels so nice to be lazy, cook, and play video games... but I think somewhere along the line I lost my drive to do anything.
My life is good, but it feels like there are a lot of things missing from it. I don't know exactly what those things are.

Jun. 1st, 2009

noooo >_<

(no subject)

My parents live such a depressing life. I want to win the lottery to pay off all their debts and give them money so they can just retire early and be happy. I don't know if my parents can live a happy life anymore.
They'd spend money on vodka still. Either they can't stop drinking alcohol, or they're just not trying, even though my dad has no job. I saw two huge empty bottles of vodka in the pile of stuff to go in the recycling. That, and they were drunk and extremely argumentative when I came home Sunday evening. Well, mainly my mother. My dad just gets belligerent when people talk to him. If left to his own devices, he probably wouldn't bother anyone. Though he does tend to loudly put his two cents in at any time when my mom and I are having a conversation.
My parents argue with each other all the time because they're horrible at communicating with each other. When I commented on it, my mom brought up the fact that their 25th (25th!!) anniversary is this Tuesday. She said something about them making it this far despite the arguments. I asked them what they were going to do for their anniversary, and they both agreed they couldn't do anything because they couldn't afford it. How fucking depressing is that?
Not that they really do anything with each other. I almost never see them be affectionate toward each other. In fact, I rarely ever see them being pleasant to each other. It's either neutral conversation or arguing.
They sit at home all day. My dad looks for jobs and plays mindless video games. No, really. He plays freecell, solitare, and occasionally Wii golf for hours. My mom exercises in the morning, gardens, does housework, and emails/talks to her family. My dad helps with the gardening and does the bulk of the yardwork. The majority of their time is spent watching TV. And every single night, they drink martinis. While watching TV, of course. They even leave the TV on during dinner when we (my brother and I) are at home, now.
Whatever. If they got along well and seemed like they still cared for each other, I wouldn't be as concerned about what they spent their time doing. I probably wouldn't even care that they drank, so long as they seemed like they still loved each other. But it really doesn't seem like it to me. And I blame it all on their inability to communicate properly with each other. How did these people ever get married?

It'd just be nice to think that my parents might be happy, despite their problems. But I truly believe they are unhappy. And I'm helpless to do anything about it... as if I didn't have my own problems to worry about.

Feb. 27th, 2009

noooo >_<

(no subject)

This is the third time I've tried to take a class in the MDIA school. The first two I had to fight for but I managed to get in. I started very early with trying to get into the last one I needed for spring quarter, emailing the professor as soon as I could start registering for classes and explaining that I'm a graduating senior. He tells me he'll put me on the list of people that need pink slips, and will send out an email in the week when we can come pick them up. 10 days go by and I hear nothing, so I email him. He just emailed me back, saying that he sent out an email earlier this week and he "accidentally left (my) name off the list" and "unfortunately" the class is full.
WHAT THE HELL. Why do I keep getting strung along by these dicks in the MDIA school? It's not like I'm fucking around taking classes I don't need. I NEED THIS CLASS TO GRADUATE. I can't believe this happened a third time, and I'm appalled at the behavior of the administration in the MDIA school. I'm getting treated like trash because my major isn't one of their majors. What a crock.

Ugh. I can't even express how disgusted I am right now. Not to mention horrified at the fact that I might not be able to grauate this spring because of the MDIA school administration's atitude. I wish I didn't have to take their fucking class! I don't want my money going to them! Unfortunately, I have no choice but to play their little games.

And what can I do? Who do I go to to talk about this? Or do I just get to sit here and take their shit even though I'm paying for my education? I want to complain to someone that has some sort of pull and can make changes so other students don't have to go through this BS, someone that can give the MDIA school the reprimand they deserve.

Feb. 26th, 2009

iidx badass anime girl

(no subject)

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click here! The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations" or click here! The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click here! Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

I did this yesterday but didn't think to post it. HA HA. I cheated, too. The crap I got the first time around was supa lame, yo. And the second time around about 90% of the pictures on the page were copyrighted so I couldn't save 'em. So I just found one on the page that I liked that wasn't copyrighted. ANYWAY it's supposed to be fun, right? I had fun.

Dec. 8th, 2008


(no subject)

Who wants a holiday card? I'm getting ready to make them. I'm screening the comments so you can post your addresses. My only hint as to what they'll look like is that they will have these cute little bumpties on them.

They might be convertible to artist trading card size, but we'll see.
I'm making one for everyone who's coming to my party. So if that includes you, MOVE ALONG.

Oct. 4th, 2008

iidx badass anime girl

(no subject)

I'm so excited. I want them NOW.

Sep. 21st, 2008

i are going to eating my mushrooms

(no subject)

I took a picture for Nicole.

I also felt productive today. I made inarizushi, onigiri, and curry. Soon I will make a bento with the curry, as well as currybread/KARE FUCKING PAN. YES. I did some laundry and washed dishes, too. I have done everything today except homework. Siiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh. Why am I dumb? Shiriously.

\( Ò A Ó )/

I love my boyfriend so much.

What's that you say? You don't care about my boyfriend and want to see the curry I made? Okay.

Hmmmm? You say you want to see a close up?

Commence self-fondling. Aaaaannnnd I should go and try to work on something. I guess. :

Aug. 19th, 2008



+ passenger seat of my car = horrified Erin.

there was, in the passenger seat of my car, a single, 11-inch long, light-brown dreadlock. Cut off from someone's head and stuffed through the tiny crack in the window of my car sometime within the last 24 hours.

Can anyone think of a reason for someone to do this? Sheer stupidity and/or drunkenness is my best guess.

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